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We often hear people say, “he is a toxic person,” “they are in a toxic relationship,” or “this is getting toxic.” In a literal sense, “toxic” refers to anything harmful or poisonous. In everyday language, Millennials and Gen Zs use it to describe people who are harmful to their mental health. These are individuals who provoke upsetting emotions, often causing more pain than simple disagreement. These individuals are commonly referred to as toxic people.
Most relationships experience arguments at some point. This doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is toxic. However, a recurring pattern of problematic behavior indicates an individual’s negative contribution to your life. Toxic people could be friends, colleagues, teachers, mentors, romantic partners, relatives, or even parents.
The term “toxic” lacks a straightforward definition, so it’s crucial to use it carefully. Instead of labeling someone as toxic, identify specific behaviors that are harmful to your mental well-being. Here are some traits and behaviors that may indicate toxicity:
If you feel exhausted or wish to distance yourself from someone, it may be a sign of a toxic relationship. Prolonged engagement with toxic individuals can lead to stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, co-dependency, and tolerance toward abusive behavior.You may also feel trapped, afraid to leave or set boundaries, and as time goes on, you start losing your sense of self. The relationship leaves you taking responsibility for the other person’s behavior, constantly apologizing or justifying their actions. These signs point to an unhealthy dynamic that can harm your mental and emotional well-being.
1. Cut Them Out of Your Life If possible, cut ties with people who are affecting you negatively. Distance yourself from any relationship involving physical or emotional abuse.
2. Set Strong Boundaries For people you cannot easily remove from your life (like parents, siblings, or in-laws), setting boundaries is essential. Let them know what behavior you will not tolerate.
3. Avoid Playing into Their Reality Don’t support or excuse their toxic behavior. Refuse to get drawn into their patterns and have the confidence to say no and walk away.
4. Pay Attention to How They Make You Feel Listen to your mind and body. If interactions with them leave you feeling uneasy or anxious, those “butterflies” may be signs to distance yourself, not attraction.
5. Stop Being Readily Available Limit your interactions with toxic people. Politely decline their offers and keep your distance as much as possible.
6. Talk to Them About Their Behavior If you believe change is possible, try discussing how their actions affect you. Approach the conversation with compassion, though it may not always go as planned.
7. Respect Yourself Enough to Walk Away Never allow anyone to have the power to disrespect you. Prioritize your well-being and walk away from relationships that cause stress.
8. Do Not Blame Yourself It’s common to feel responsible for not trying hard enough to make the relationship work. Remind yourself that their actions are not your responsibility.
9. Find Supportive People Invest time in relationships with people who make you feel safe and valued. Build a support system that empowers you.
10. Encourage Them to Seek Therapy Understand that you cannot fix someone. If you feel comfortable, encourage them to seek therapy, but remember that personal growth requires willingness.
11. Acknowledge Your Own Toxic Traits Everyone has the potential for toxic behavior. Recognize your own harmful traits and work on them to become a better person for yourself and your loved ones.
Leaving a toxic relationship can be difficult due to emotional, financial, or societal ties, especially if the toxic person is a family member or colleague. Remember, their toxic behavior is often a result of their trauma. While compassion is important, it should never come at the cost of your well-being.
If this article resonates with you—whether you are on the receiving or delivering end of a toxic relationship—help is available. Reach out to your support system, therapist, or someone you trust. With guidance and willingness, we can all grow into better individuals. It’s never too late to prioritize and save yourself.